


He needs some milk!

by afropunkism



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 01:39:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afropunkism/pseuds/afropunkism
Summary: “Which one are we going to use? Ghost Pepper hot sauce, or Carolina Reaper hot sauce?”“Nigga you know we gotta use that Carolina Reaper.”“You right, you right.”





	He needs some milk!

**Author's Note:**

> Just so yall know.
> 
> John: Elijah Malcomb  
> Lafayette: Chris Lee  
> Aaron: Joshua Henry

“Which one are we going to use? Ghost Pepper hot sauce, or Carolina Reaper hot sauce?”

“Nigga you know we gotta use that Carolina Reaper.”

“You right, you right.”

Gilbert de Lafayette and John Laurens were going to prank Aaron Burr. As stuck up and uiet Aaron is about his opinions, he certainly isn't quiet about how he can't handle spicy foods. John and Lafayette were going to test his limits with a harmless prank. Aaron loved ketchup. He would drown his food in it and he was so particular about what brand of ketchup he’d actually eat. John and Lafayette planned to switch his ketchup for some Carolina Reaper hot sauce. They were going to pour out all the ketchup (yes, they were going to buy him so more) and fill the ketchup bottle back up with the hot sauce. They were going to put the prank into action whenever Aaron wasn’t home, and they had the stuff they needed. It was a flawless plan. 

They ran into some complications ordering the hot sauce though. Amazon said it was supposed to arrive in two to three business days? It took several weeks. So, by the time that it arrived, both black men were annoyed that it took so long, but excited to finally be able to pull the prank. Right now, they were both on Aaron’s doorstep, hot sauce hidden in John’s clothes just in case he happened to be home. Lafayette walked up to the door and knocked on it. No answer. He knocked on it again, but harder. No answer.  
“He isn't home!” Lafayette said excitedly and then attempted to open the door. The door was locked, and his mood immediately dropped.”We didn't get a fucking key.”  
John just laughed a bit and then stepped up to the door and pushed Lafayette back. “I got this. Gotta hairpin?”

“Yeah?”

“Gotta nail file?”

“Of course.”

“Give them to me.” John held out his hand expectantly. Lafayette placed said items in his hand, and then John turned back to the door. He kneeled down to get a better look at the doorknob and therefore, the lock on the door. He picked the lock pretty quickly and then opened the door. “Walla!”

“Where’d you learn to pick locks?”

“Don't ask questions.”

John and Lafayette both walked inside, with Lafayette closing and locking the door behind them. They both made a beeline for his kitchen. Lafayette actually got the ketchup bottle out of Aaron’s pantry. He looked in Aaron’s cabinets and got one of the many plastic bags stuffed in there.

“I'm going to squeeze all the ketchup in here and then throw it away outside. So Aaron won’t smell the actually ketchup and suspect anything.”

“That's smart, dude.”

“I know.”

Lafayette did exactly as he said he would. He squeezed all of the ketchup out of the bottle and into the bag. Then, he gave the bottle to John. John took the cap off the hot sauce, and then poured all of it in the ketchup bottle. And then he put it right back where Lafayette found it. 

“Let's leave, John. We can call and tell him we’re coming over later. He gets home at 6, and its 5 right now.”

“Yeah, lets go.”

John and Lafayette made sure everything was more or less the exact same before they arrived, and then they left.

Aaron got home at around 6. He got a call from John that him and Lafayette were coming over at 6:05. He didn't even ask. He called him, told him that they were coming over, and then hung up. He had went to McDonalds right before he got home and got himself a cheeseburger and a large fry. They only gave him one packet of ketchup and got irritated when he so politely asked for more. So, he was just going to use the ketchup that he had. His ketchup was better anyway. He got his ketchup and then sat down on the couch and spread is food on the table. And then he smothered his fries in ketchup. Yes, he was one of those people who put the ketchup on their fries and not off to the side.

Aaron loves his fries. Aaron loves his ketchup. So, he started eating his fries first. Right off the bat, he knew that something was off about the taste. It just tasted like spice. That’s when realization dawned on him that, he had not in fact put ketchup on his fries. He put hot sauce on his fries. Even so, that hot sauce felt a lot hotter than normal hot sauce. He was sweating, he felt extremely hot, and his mouth and throat were burning so much that he could barely breathe. Coughing didn't make it any better and that's all he could do.  
When he heard his door open, but no knocking, he immediately knew who it was. John always walked up in his house like he lived there, and Lafayette did the exact same thing. Usually, it would annoy him. But right now? He was relieved. Though he was started to have some suspicion they were behind this…

John and Lafayette expected to walk in on Aaron chugging milk. They didn't expect to walk in on him sweating, coughing, and basically looking like a mess. They glanced at each other, because they knew that they were the ones who had caused this. Lafayette and John both ran over to him. Lafayette was the one actually patting him on the back and everything. “Are you ok?” Aaron sent Lafayette a look, a look that said ‘Does it look like Im ok?’ Lafayette just stared at Aaron for a bit before looking over to John. “Maybe you should call 911?”

“That would be a good idea.” John got out his phone and then called 911. He walked away from Aaron to explain what was going on. He played it off like he was pacing around. “Oh, by the way, my friend is white so you should get here quick.” And then he hung up, and walked back over to Lafayette and Aaron. “I told them you was white so maybe they gonna get here faster.”

Aaron was going give John a look that said he disproved of his tactics, but then realized John did have a point and that his strategy was effective 90 percent of the time. So he just sat there.  
***  
Aaron had to be rushed to the ER. John and Lafayette had to wait a few hours before they were able to actually see him. Once they were able to, they both got up and went to his room. John entered his room being loud, as always.

“What up nigga!”

“Be quiet! This is a hospital!”

John rolled his eyes and then sat himself down in a chair with Lafayette doing the same. There was this awkward silence for a few minutes before Aaron decided to break it.“You two did this didnt yall?”

Lafayette faked surprise and faked innocence. “Oh sweet Aaron. Whatever do you mean?”

John decided to play along. “Hath thou thinketh we have done some wrongeth to thee-eth?”

And then both Lafayette and Johnstarted laughing. Both at eachother and Aaron’s exasperated face.”Did you do it? Did you switch out my ketchup for hot sauce?”

John nodded. “Yep!"

“We used Carolina Reaper hot sauce.” Lafayette said, he felt the need to say that, because he already knew Aaron was going to ask what type of hot sauce it was.

Aaron just stared at them in disbelief. “Carolina Reaper… as in _hottest pepper in the world_?” 

John and Lafayette both nodded to confirm what Aaron said.

Aaron frowned and then scoffed and turned his back to them. “I fucking hate yall niggas.”

John laughed. “Aw, we love you to Aaron.”


End file.
